The Love-o-meter

My Kolleague is in a relationship that she just won't stop talking about.

It's pretty standard stuff: they met when she was eighteen, he was seventeen. They broke up a year ago, when he turned twenty-three.

"He told me he had fallen out of love. But isn't that normal after six years? You don't feel as passionate as you did?"

Finally after a couple of months he came back and now they live together. But he keeps telling her the most passive aggressive stuff, telling her he doesn't fancy her anymore, that she is letting herself go etc. Once, tired and not feeling tactful, I asked her point-blank why she was staying with him. The way she tells it (obviously with her own bias) makes it feel like he is trying to get her to break up with him. She is planning the wedding and the kids.

"I will never love anyone in that way. That's why I know he's the One."

She nibbles on a cookie. She looks at me.

"Have you ever felt that way?"

I tried to explain that there is no love-o-meter. If you are in love that is. Each love is different. Each relationship too. I asked her if she measures the love she felt for her friends.

"I don't have that many friends. I feel love is more important than friendship."

Again with the Love-o-meter.

This woman fascinates me. She is the incarnation of old-fashioned ideals. She just wants kids. No career. For her, jobs are just for money. He takes all the decisions; he is the more intelligent. I met the guy once and found him nice enough, but I wonder if he wants to get married. If he wants kids in 3 years. If he feels imprisoned. Why he came back.

"I sometimes feel we met too young. We're perfect for each other but if he had a bit more experience maybe he would want to get married more."

So those are my office lunches.