Singledom, swingers and cultural differences.

I am wary of general statements, expecially concerning America. I lived in the Midwest for a year, but apart from that I have no idea about how most of Americans live. Yet when I was in Chicago, I was flabbergasted by some of the things I learnt there.

So, dating. In France, we know about American dating, but we don't understand it. To us, when you date someone, unless you discuss it beforehand, it's understood that it's exclusive. Even in the tentative first weeks. Once you've slept together, if you decide to continue to see each other, you are considered to be a couple. These are general guidelines.

In America, people seemed to be OK with seeing more than one person at a time. Going to movies, having dinner, all that stuff. It was completely foreign to me. In the same way, casual sex is far less taboo for Americans than for us.Naturally it happens, but you wouldn't discuss it with your girlfriends. It's not something to celebrate, or to bemoan, it's a fact of life.

So when you say you are "single", this is French for "celibate". In America, "single" could mean celibate, but it could also mean other things, like "enjoying life".

So when I am asked if I have a boyfriend and I answer that I'm single, I get pitying glances from the French (because it means I now lead an immaculate life) and high fives from the Americans in my study program. The reactions go from "I'm sure there's the right guy out there for you..." to "Go get 'em girl."

I am amused by this. I find it funny that French people, with the most ouh la la reputation in the world, are so much more prudish than puritanical America.

I read blogs written by swingers, and I'm also struck by the difference in mentality. In Paris, we have many famous swinger clubs. Famous people are outspoken about their swinging habits. It's not a big deal.

So I guess we are more comfortable with cheating politicians and swingers, but less with the idea of American dating.

Funny, no?