Ouch.

When you are used to something, it doesn't precisely stop hurting, but the pain is less of a surprise. I was talking to a friend who suffers from migraines, and she was explaining her symptoms to me. She told me that the worst part of migraines was dreading the next attack.

As soon as one is over, you cannot stop wondering when you will be in pain again.
At the moment, I feel that I am coping with events. My mother's cancer has been removed, she is undergoing radiotherapy. My father's chronic illness and perpetual hospital hopping. My own mood swings. Ok, so I still spend too much money, I still fuck up, I still feel that it's so OVERWHELMING. But most of the time, I'm used to it.

Lately though, I feel like spring. I feel like an excited, crazy person. The sadness feels like a burden, like an annoyance. I want to run away and board a ship, I want to run another marathon until all the voices shut up, I want to hug a stranger, I want to write a song, I want my sister back, I want to wear braids and floaty white dresses, and I want to be free.