Phi Beta Kappa

Now I'm not good about American Universities slang, or lingo, or whatever you might call it. So when my sister called yesterday to tell me she was invited to her college's Phi Beta Kappa society in the fall of her senior year, this did not ring any bells. In fact, I thought she meant she was entering a sorority, although that also made no sense since her college has no sororities.





My mother, currently with me in Berlin, seemed to know and was incredibly proud. I resolved to google after dinner.

So I did.

You get a golden key! I'm not sure why! But it's amazing.

I may burst with pride.

Ubuntu 4 ever

In France we don't have geeks. Geeks are that quintessential American creation. Sure, we have computer engineers, physicists, mathmos with an intense manga obsession, but we don't think of them as geeks.

My first ever boyfriend was a geek. He liked writing computer programs at a time when we didn't have broadband internet at home. I then befriended a World of Warcraft fan who let me watch him plan world domination and organise druidic poetry competitions. But X was in so many ways (video games aside) the perfect geek. He is a chemist with an unhealthy love of lolcats, a collection of punning tshirts, and can spend hours fiddling with Linux; oh, I got him hooked on Battlestar Galactica. He switched my computer from Windows to Ubuntu back to Windows. It never did recover!

He would hate being called a geek.

But he is.

So now that my boyfriend has introduced me to the sitcom The Big Bang Theory, I am obsessed. It's clichéd and predictable, but it reminds me of all the wonderful geeks I've known in my life. The ones who pull all-nighters to join their American guild and live a jetlagged elf life, the ones who discuss how many microwave ovens you would need to power a jet engine, the ones who read comic books, and of course, all the wonderful computer obsessed people out there.

Because the truth is, we all spend ridiculous amounts of time online, but these guys actually KNOW what they are doing.

Here's to all the geeks who have let me use their science and enjoy their company.

SURPRISE

I'm coming home on Tuesday and have packed nothing, prepared nothing, have to find gifts for everyone, write cards, welcome my mother, clean the apartment. I have made a list, which depresses the hell out of me, so I ignore it zealously.


Well, on Wednesday I was supposed to have dinner with my boyfriend for the first time in more than a month.

And then I got an email in my inbox.

"Let's all celebrate Sara's return to Paris on Wednesday evening!".

A class friend sent this email to about thirty people.

I can't really express how stunned I am. All I can hear is my sister's voice lovingly and sarcastically saying that I've become Miss Popular. YES I HAVE J!
Well, most of the people invited to this thing don't like me, so I suppose I'm not Miss Popular, but Miss Good Excuse To Get Drunk. And that works for me.

I called AD to tell him our plans were cancelled due to my huge and out-of-control fandom.
We are having breakfast together instead. Meal of Kings.
Oh, and I'm getting a set of keys to his place.

THE LIST THE LIST THE LIST is taunting me. If you think this post makes no sense, wait until Monday sets in.

TEDIOUS RANT

One of my colleagues doesn't like risotto...doesn't listen to any type of music...has been in Berlin for a year and hasn't visited a museum...thinks men should be "manly" and women should earn less so as to not scare prospective suitors away...is worried that she is putting on weight and keeps talking about it, no matter how much you tell her to relax...

It's hard.

I think I'm not very tolerant because I so often want to brain her. It's because I'm a snob, right? The fact that she thinks Twilight is the most romantic book ever should not arouse any wrath, or should it?

Berlin is a city with three major opera houses, a million art galleries, lots and lots of beautiful streets, great theatres, innovative design. This is a place where things are happening on a large scale. And she could be living in the middle of nowhere. It's such a waste!

I'm a snob.

OK, what about this? She's going off for a six-month sabbatical with her BF to the other end of the world in 8 weeks and she hasn't cracked open a guide book? How can you be so passive?

I'm intolerant.

But she is driving me crazy and WHERE CAN I VENT? Not at the office because the sole topic is how often a week is too much argh argh don't want to go to work tomorrow.

I'll settle for this. Don't talk during the entire day. And I won't rant anymore.

Yeah.

The Depression Whisperer

To-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow,
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day
To the last syllable of recorded time,
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!
Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage
And then is heard no more: it is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.

I'm going to say Macbeth suffered from depression. Just a hunch.


I'm one of those people. Tell me you've been having problems, family problems, work problems, any problems, and I will lean over intently, gaze into your eyes and say:
"You're probably depressed."

I am a shameless arm-chair diagnostician and my friends, I WILL DIAGNOSE YOU WITH DEPRESSION.

October is National Depression Awareness Month (Poor October: Breast Cancer AND Depression). Sara is National Depression Awareness Blatherer. Anyone unlucky enough to cross my path will get a lecture on the topic.

Why do I do this? Apart from adoring the sound of my own voice?

Because I believe this is still a taboo topic.

Depression is not cured by "a nice long walk". Depression does not mean you are lazy. Depression does not mean you are a failure. Depression is a mental illness that can make you lose your family, your friends, your job and ultimately your life.

However I also believe we can fight against it. We can decide to get better. Don't get me wrong, it is a long, difficult decision to make, and people in the throes of depression are often not in a state to accept those efforts.

Yet there are therapies. There are ways.

Watch the people around you. Do you know someone who has been unhappy for a long time? Withdrawing into themselves? Do you know someone who is no longer themselves, for lack of a better word? It could be a midlife crisis, could be a bad patch, but if it is depression, what do we have to lose by asking that person how we can help, if they are in need of comfort, or advice.

It is hard to reach out to depressed people. They don't want your help. They want to die.

That doesn't mean we shouldn't try.

To anyone who stumbles accross this message, if you feel you are depressed, please see a doctor. Please talk to someone. It's so hard to do this alone.

I have been greatly helped by people sharing their testimonies and stories with me throughout my own battle with this disease. If anyone should want to talk to me, please do not hesitate to do so.

Depression can happen to anyone.

But I promise: you can get out of it.